I don't understand

I don't get it. I honestly...I don't know. I've been hurting people. I've been negligant and nonchalant and foolish with almost all the decisions I've made lately. I know I've been hurting people and the fact that I'm completely burned out and mindless is no excuse. I want to take responsibility for what I've done but I don't even know where to begin.

I really...I don't like myself right now. I've been lying to people, to parents, to myself. I've become someone I don't even know but I know I don't like. I'm like a creature. I'm like nothing I could even want to meet or become.

I've changed shapes before but never have I been so stupid.



I want to heal the wounds I've inflicted. I want to still the nightmares I've stirred. I want to press rewind and kiss booboos and make everything right and make everything wrong go away. But I know I can. And that's all I can do--recognize that what I've done was wrong, but I'm capable of little else at this point.